In the world of therapy people typically come because they want change or have made the brave decision to embark on the road of change. I educate people on the characteristics of change. I explain that change is possible, however it may not be as easy to change as it was to arrive at the current space. I’ve discovered that people often think that change is supposed to “feel right”! I explain, No, what “feels right” is the behavior or situation in which you’ve grown accustomed…that you no longer desire.
When you decide to change it will not “feel right” every aspect may feel wrong, and that’s okay! You’re moving in a direction and space you’ve never experienced. You’re letting go of things and experiences that no longer serve the direction you are traveling. You should feel like a fish out of water! One phrase I frequently use with clients in relation to change, “You’re going against the grain.” It doesn’t always feel good. I explain you’re no longer going with the natural flow of your life. You’re creating a new normal. That takes work!
Remember you are your mind and your thoughts. The events, issues, and behaviors are what the mind looks like to the world and yourself. Change requires finding new ways to look at life and events. You can’t be successful at a new journey with an old mind.
Most importantly, change is a process therefore, it is a journey and not a destination. It may not happen in the order you’ve established in your mind. Be open for things to happen out of YOUR order. Just because they’re not in YOUR order doesnt mean they’re out of order, and it doesn’t mean that change isn’t happening. People often forget that CHANGE HURTS! You’re uncomfortable and in a foreign place in your life. This is great! This is an indicator that change is happening. During these times have compassion with yourself. When you feel you’re off your path, regroup and keep going. It took months, sometimes years, and a lot of hard work to get to your current space. It’s going to take just as much hard work to get to your new space!
All of the compassion, understanding, and second chances you give to others, be mindful that you are worthy and deserving of the same.
New Year, New You?
